All I Wanna

I wanna cry
But no tears came

I tried to smile
But it seems too lame

I wanna speak
But there's no sound

I wanna scream
But my voice could not be found

I wanna jump
But i lack the energy

I wanna walk
But i can't seem to master it

There is confusion
I seem to ignore it all

The chaos and war
I tried to break the fall

The cries around me
I dun seem to have heard

The pain that follows
Together with hurt

I Must (Version 2)

I have tears I could not cry
I tell myself I must be strong

I have problems I cannot hide
I tell myself I must go on

I look into the mirror
the image long gone

I stared at the air
looking more forlorn

I breathe in the air
the air is stale

I saw the trees stripped bare
I saw the grasses growing frail

I saw that the sky is blue no more
but dark and gloomy clouds covered them all

I saw the droplets splashing down
I saw how the shadows frown

I wonder when will daylight ever arrive?
Or have I actually gone blind?

Untitled ...

This is hurting much more than I can bear
This is even worse than I thought

I just feel like curling up and cry
It seems it is better to just die

I'm feeling just too weary and tired at the moment
It seems I have lost the momentum

Chunks of work and more and more
This is not something I can handle, like before

Have to admit I need another assistant
But when to find one, is the main question!

Meanwhile, tensions fly high,
As I utter a big sigh

The fear of failure,
Of not living up to expectations

The fear of disappointment,
Of failing the corporation

The tremendous amount of pressure
Is not something you can relate to

In all of the above cases
Resembles a recipe for disaster!

What to Make of ...

It's a wonderful Christmas Day
A day supposedly filled with fun and laughter
A day of celebrations and getting together
A day of meeting old friends and relatives

We used to have so much fun
But those were the glorious days
The house filled with people and food
Laughter filling the whole place

I remembered the old Christmas carols
And the visits to the old folk's home
I remembered the games we played
So much fun and exclamations of the yesterdays

Of these few years,
Christmas hasbeen nothing but a cold, cold day
TV Blasting, Family sleeping
What to make of, of this fine holiday?

On My Bed ...

On my bed as I lay
I couldn't help but wonder why
How life can be so unfair
It makes me wanna curl up
And just cry

A Happy occasion
Well, it used to be'
Cept that for now
It's nothing but a memory

The parties, the drinks, the happiness
all that's left is nothing but an illusion
What's Christmas all about?
Can anyone tell me?

Life has been stale since 5 years ago
For me and my family
We are now living in a dream
A dream of the past

The past holds a lot of happy memories for us
The present, obstacles abounding
The future, unknown

What's left of today
Is being carried on for tomorrow
The pain is brought forward everyday
Who knows when it will be the end?

Will this be for a lifetime?
Will this be everlasting?
I certainly hope not
Really not...

Time Long Past

Everything about you was perfect
But now, all I feel is regret
How did I let you slip away?
Why did I reject your love that day?
Now, as I hear you talk about your crush
I feel my heart's being pierced into dust
I'm filled with envy for the girl
I only pray she cherishes what
you have done for her
If I could turn back time
I would accept your love without a dime
But now, it's too late
If it's meant to be
We would be together someday

Poem Of A Family

Once there was a happy family
who was happy no matter their status quo
Who had fun whenever they went
the little gal was still young then

She was pretty full of life and all
being an only child, enjoying all she's got
But then her father took the first fall
and suddenly, all their lives turned to naught

That was a time of difficulty
a time of pain and suffering
And along then came a friend
who promised to make it all better

The father started work in his friend's company
though totally new in this line
He learnt everything about what's to be
and he slowly made his way up

Soon this family was up on the ladder again
and the girl had a little sister
Who was the cutest thing anyone had known
and everybody loved

Life was going smoothly and wonderfully
it all seems too good to be true
This is like a dream come true
For the father and his family

Little did they know of the disaster
of what has yet to come
For this friend betrayed him
and forced him to leave the company

For a while, the father tried to accept things
to make everything right
For he still have a family to support
he cannot give up without a fight

But as despair set in
for finances were running low
The father grew despondent
unlike the person whom he really was

He tried getting a job
but nothing worked
He tried building his own business
but without capital, all is pretty much useless

In the end,
he had to sell away the car
That was the last link;
to sever him from his friend

With the last link gone
it seems all is gone
The father is feeling worse than before
but he is yet relieved as well

The father has been praying hard
hoping to make everything right like before
However, there has been no answer
and he doesn't know what to do

Will there be a miracle?
For this is what the family has been hoping for
Will God finally answer their prayers?
Time will eventually reveal!

In The Dark

Alone in the dark I stare
a life of misery I see
Wadding alone in the tunnel
there's no light

Only the deafening silence
and then I fell
I fell down hard, into the murky waters
my imagination ran wild

There seems to be numerous hands
They are pulling me down
I can't breathe, it's suffocating
Then someone pulled me up

Away from the murderous hands
Fresh Air! What a refreshing experience!
I could see a faint of light;
I scrambled immediately

But the light seems to be getting further
away from me
I shouted, the echo followed suit
But there's no one, no one to hear my pleas, my cries,
I feel so lonely and in despair

Help me... help me... someone please...

Night

Night has fallen once again,
I curl up in my bed, crying.

Thinking back on the wonderful bits of the past,
However wondering how long the present bad times will last.

In the silence of the night,
I'm prepared to give up my fight.

Everything that surrounds me,
Seems to be a lie.

I'm caught in all places,
I'm very much in a bind.

It's been a whole 5 years since the incident,
However increasing, are my resentments.

My world came crashing down,
Yet, there was no one around.

The world I lived in became so dark;
It was as rough as a tree's bark.

I yearn for peace to be restored,
For love and happiness, to return; once more.

5 Years Ago~

Cry myself to sleep at night,
Freeing myself from the present to hide.
All the pain, the worries, the headaches,
Constantly swimming around in my head.

5 years ago, I was a cheerful person,
Life was much simpler then, no worries, no concerns.
It was sweet and smooth-going,
Enjoying anything that comes along my way.

5 years later, I'm a nervous painful wreck,
Problems never seem to end,
Troubles and heartaches always there.

How much has life changed over the years?
However multiplying stronger are my fears.
Life goes on as it never ends,
The world is older than all of us are, my friend.

Trudging down the treacherous path,
Is anyone out there to lend me a hand?
Danger lurks in every corner and winding bend,
Seems my life is played from a telescope lens.

I pray to God to give me strength,
The willpower and control in my hands.
That I will perserve and go on,
To emerge as a new person; Reborn.

Pain

After a long holiday
Whereby I'm back to work

My mind is a jumble of thoughts
Which rendered me unable to work

I've had more sadness than happiness
I've had my fair share of crappiness

My mind feels numb from the pain
As like a celebrity overwhelmed with fame

I pray for the day to pass by fast
So I could leave to catch the bus

To reach home to snuggle in my bed
To avoid seeing red

To peer into the darkness once more
To continue my facade once more

To be myself as I am
The one and only me, full of pain

I Must!

I have tears I could not cry
I tell myself I must be strong

I have problems I could not hide
I tell myself I must go on

I looked into the mirror
The image long gone

I stared at the air
Looking more forlorn

I breathe in the air
The air is stale

I saw the trees stripped bare
I saw the grasses growing frail

I saw the sky is blue no more
But dark and gloomy clouds covered them all

I saw the droplets splashing down
I saw how the shadows frown

At last when it's all over
The images are clear as ever

The world goes on as it never ends
That is life for you, my friend

Unspoken Words

I seek solace when night falls,
I curled up in my bed, like a ball.

The crisp evening air,
Reminds me of my room, almost bare.

I can't help but feel lonely,
I can't help but be dreamy.

Everything that happens around me,
Is too much than I can bear.

I feel hollow,
Even though I'm surrounded by warmth and care.

As the night goes on,
My heart is being wrenched and torn.

Till the first light of the morning dawn,
I grew more and more forlorn.

It's another new day to begin with,
As I don on my mask to begin the new day.